Balancing Life As A SAHM

Looking around I see that there are so many pressures that are placed upon SAHM.  Some of the pressures are ones that we put on ourselves, but others are "expected" of us. 

I am a perfectionist, so everything I do has to be done perfectly.  I know with children that is not a reality, however I also know that working hard is important and that sometimes I am just not perfect, no matter how much I want to be perfect.

One of the goals I have set for myself is not a unrealistic one, but it is one that I often need help with.  This is the goal that I want to go to bed and have a clean house.  It is hard sometimes to get up before going to bed, expecially since there are many days that I am completely exhausted, to clean my house and still be in bed by a good time.

I rely on help from DH...  the biggest problem with that, is the fact that it is never done completely.  I know that it will not be done the same way, but there is always something that is left out and not taken care of.  Because of this I usually will just get up and stay up as long as I need to, and make sure that I am getting everything done.

The other problem with this is the fact, that I get up at 5 am to go run.  I have been struggling with my weight and I decided that by going to the gym first thing in the morning I feel so much better, and I actually go, and not make excuses. 

By getting up so early in the morning, I want to go to bed early, but this just never seems to happen.  I will sit down on my computer and not realise how much time I have spent sitting there.  Or I will get into a TV show and that will keep me up.  But the worst is when I end up so staying up late to clean. 

I do not expect that my house will be clean all the time, and I know that there are going to be times that I just have to go to bed with out cleaning it.  The problem is that doing it in the moring is rough on me and I feel rushed, and it puts me in a bad room.

I have asked my DH to help and there are times that he does, and other times he is too busy, but most of the time when he helps, there is a big piece that is just not completed.  That is so frustrating to me to think that it is not a difficult task, but it is one that never quite gets done unless I take care of it. 

I have been trying to find balance, and I can tell you I do not know how working mothers are able to accomplish anything.  I am so tired by the end of the day, and I spread out my cleaning, laundry and other little things throughout the day.  I just do not understand why this happens.

I just wish that eventually things will change and I will finally be able to get a full nights sleep, and have a house that is clean in the morning.  It does not have to be perfect but it needs to be clean.