Looking around I see that there are so many pressures that are placed upon SAHM. Some of the pressures are ones that we put on ourselves, but others are "expected" of us.
I am a perfectionist, so everything I do has to be done perfectly. I know with children that is not a reality, however I also know that working hard is important and that sometimes I am just not perfect, no matter how much I want to be perfect.
One of the goals I have set for myself is not a unrealistic one, but it is one that I often need help with. This is the goal that I want to go to bed and have a clean house. It is hard sometimes to get up before going to bed, expecially since there are many days that I am completely exhausted, to clean my house and still be in bed by a good time.
I rely on help from DH... the biggest problem with that, is the fact that it is never done completely. I know that it will not be done the same way, but there is always something that is left out and not taken care of. Because of this I usually will just get up and stay up as long as I need to, and make sure that I am getting everything done.
The other problem with this is the fact, that I get up at 5 am to go run. I have been struggling with my weight and I decided that by going to the gym first thing in the morning I feel so much better, and I actually go, and not make excuses.
By getting up so early in the morning, I want to go to bed early, but this just never seems to happen. I will sit down on my computer and not realise how much time I have spent sitting there. Or I will get into a TV show and that will keep me up. But the worst is when I end up so staying up late to clean.
I do not expect that my house will be clean all the time, and I know that there are going to be times that I just have to go to bed with out cleaning it. The problem is that doing it in the moring is rough on me and I feel rushed, and it puts me in a bad room.
I have asked my DH to help and there are times that he does, and other times he is too busy, but most of the time when he helps, there is a big piece that is just not completed. That is so frustrating to me to think that it is not a difficult task, but it is one that never quite gets done unless I take care of it.
I have been trying to find balance, and I can tell you I do not know how working mothers are able to accomplish anything. I am so tired by the end of the day, and I spread out my cleaning, laundry and other little things throughout the day. I just do not understand why this happens.
I just wish that eventually things will change and I will finally be able to get a full nights sleep, and have a house that is clean in the morning. It does not have to be perfect but it needs to be clean.
July 29, 2009
June 22, 2009
Knowing When To Let Kids Help
My son's version of making his bed
My little guy helped me clean up the living room so that I could vaccum. It tripled the time it would have taken me to do it myself, but I let him help. I have learned while it is so much quicker, and neater to do things myself, allowing my children to have a part in what I am doing is so important.
Seeing the sense of pride and accomplishment when they finish a small task that I ask them to do is such a good feeling. Now to go along with that - learning how to give up control is a different story. I have only 24 hours in a day, the same as everyone else and finding the time to do everything is impossible. Now I can do the cleaning and everything myself, and it would save me time, but what am I teaching my children?
I also have realised that, as the sign that my son gave me from preschool for mother's day said - If my house was any cleaner I would be neglecting my children, and that is true. I do the essentials, and a little more but my focus is on my children. I do what I can, and I am proud to say my house is pretty clean for 2 boys. I know I can do more, but the fact is if I were to do more then I would not have any time to play with my children, or any time for me!
June 13, 2009
Vacation
I remember going on vacation before children. Packing was easy, just take what you needed. Travel time was quick. The trip was relaxing and wonderful. I loved going on vacations growing up with my family and even as a young adult with my husband. Sleeping in. Going to wonderful new places. Experiencing the sights. Taking your time and not rushings. Laying out by the pool. It was a much needed break.
Now I am a stay at home mother, a job I always wanted and feel truely blessed to have. I still get the same excitement and feeling when we are going on vacation, until I start getting ready. Now I have to get not only myself packed, but also 2 other people. I have to take into consideration accidents, and extra clothes, and other items. Oh yea don't forget toys, favorite stuffed animals, and blankets that they just can not live without. I find that I have to plan out everything so I don't forget anything. Not to mention that I am stressed even before leaving.
Now getting in the car used to be fine, and packing the car was easy. Now you have to strategicly place different bags throughout the car. Keep the blankets close and toys to play with. Don't forget drinks and food so when a little voice from the backseat says that they are hungry or thirsty you can help them with that. Now that DVD players are a must on any vacation, making sure that the favorite DVD's are packed is very important. Getting the car settled takes almost as much time as packing the bags.
Driving takes twice as long because it seems every five minutes you hear a little voice say "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" which means find the next rest stop. That adds so much time onto your traveling that it is crazy. Knowing that one easy way to eliminate the problem is to eliminate drinks, but that will then cause another problem, the repeated phrase "Mommy I'm Thirsty." Adding additional time to your trip makes everything so much more tiring than before.
Then you finally arrive. Check into your hotel room, and unpack the car, now what? The first thing you think of is, now it is time to relax. A much needed break, to sit and read a book or go lay by the pool. Then you realize that this is not going to happen, you have to be a Mommy first. You have to watch and entertain your children just as you would at home. Except for now you are not in a familiar setting and you have to watch every move that much closer than before so that nothing breaks or no one gets hurt.
Time to sit and relax is just not something that will happen. By the end of the day, when the wonderful bedtime arrives, you see that it is not so wonderful this time. They don't want to sleep. Someone is scared because it is new. It takes twice as long, and you are already late going to bed because, well you are on vacation and strict bedtimes are not as important as at home. Remember you can relax and have fun, well not so much.
So after looking around and realizing that vacations are no longer, relaxing and calm as they used to be, there is a whole new level of fun and excitement on vacation that was never there before, your children. They are amazed at just about everything. When they have fun the laughter and smiles make your heart melt. The wonderful and amazing words "thank you mommy" makes all of the stress just seem so insignificant. Somehow you experience everything just a little differently when you take the time to look at it through the eyes of a child.
Looking at vacations a little differently, makes the difference. Seeing that vacations are not just for you anymore and seeing that vacations are for your family, makes them so special, and a wonderful feeling!
Now I am a stay at home mother, a job I always wanted and feel truely blessed to have. I still get the same excitement and feeling when we are going on vacation, until I start getting ready. Now I have to get not only myself packed, but also 2 other people. I have to take into consideration accidents, and extra clothes, and other items. Oh yea don't forget toys, favorite stuffed animals, and blankets that they just can not live without. I find that I have to plan out everything so I don't forget anything. Not to mention that I am stressed even before leaving.
Now getting in the car used to be fine, and packing the car was easy. Now you have to strategicly place different bags throughout the car. Keep the blankets close and toys to play with. Don't forget drinks and food so when a little voice from the backseat says that they are hungry or thirsty you can help them with that. Now that DVD players are a must on any vacation, making sure that the favorite DVD's are packed is very important. Getting the car settled takes almost as much time as packing the bags.
Driving takes twice as long because it seems every five minutes you hear a little voice say "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" which means find the next rest stop. That adds so much time onto your traveling that it is crazy. Knowing that one easy way to eliminate the problem is to eliminate drinks, but that will then cause another problem, the repeated phrase "Mommy I'm Thirsty." Adding additional time to your trip makes everything so much more tiring than before.
Then you finally arrive. Check into your hotel room, and unpack the car, now what? The first thing you think of is, now it is time to relax. A much needed break, to sit and read a book or go lay by the pool. Then you realize that this is not going to happen, you have to be a Mommy first. You have to watch and entertain your children just as you would at home. Except for now you are not in a familiar setting and you have to watch every move that much closer than before so that nothing breaks or no one gets hurt.
Time to sit and relax is just not something that will happen. By the end of the day, when the wonderful bedtime arrives, you see that it is not so wonderful this time. They don't want to sleep. Someone is scared because it is new. It takes twice as long, and you are already late going to bed because, well you are on vacation and strict bedtimes are not as important as at home. Remember you can relax and have fun, well not so much.
So after looking around and realizing that vacations are no longer, relaxing and calm as they used to be, there is a whole new level of fun and excitement on vacation that was never there before, your children. They are amazed at just about everything. When they have fun the laughter and smiles make your heart melt. The wonderful and amazing words "thank you mommy" makes all of the stress just seem so insignificant. Somehow you experience everything just a little differently when you take the time to look at it through the eyes of a child.
Looking at vacations a little differently, makes the difference. Seeing that vacations are not just for you anymore and seeing that vacations are for your family, makes them so special, and a wonderful feeling!
May 28, 2009
They Grow Up Too Fast
So I have been thinking... and for me that is often something that is scary... kids grow up too fast. Yea I know, this is something that you have told me for years... right. But as a new parent you never really believe it until you can look back at a ton of memories and think, where has the time gone.
I remember like it was yesterday when I first got the news that I was pregnant. I say got the news because I when to have a blood test done and had to call in for the results. I was on the way to go swimming with a friend when I called. I could not believe whe the voice on the other end of the phone said "congratulations you are pregnant."
Oh and the morning my water broke and I went into labor. That day is still vivid in my head. I can see myself running around the house, and still feel the excitement and feeling so nervous on the way to the hospital. I can remember holding him in my arms for the first time. What an amazing feeling.
Now that he is 4 1/2 and going to finish up his first day of preschool... OMG what happened. I look back and think where has the time gone. Where is my little boy that would cling to mommy's leg and would not go do anything. You know the kid that you were afraid to drop off at school because you thought that you were going to have to go in with him so that he would stop crying.
This is the little boy that was so cute because he had so much little baby fat on him, and now I look at his picture or at him running around in my back yard and think who is this tall and skinny boy that is sitting there.
I would love to figure out how to stop him from growing, but I am also excited to see what the future holds. I know that every year and new experience is so amazing, that next year is going to be amazing too!
I remember like it was yesterday when I first got the news that I was pregnant. I say got the news because I when to have a blood test done and had to call in for the results. I was on the way to go swimming with a friend when I called. I could not believe whe the voice on the other end of the phone said "congratulations you are pregnant."
Oh and the morning my water broke and I went into labor. That day is still vivid in my head. I can see myself running around the house, and still feel the excitement and feeling so nervous on the way to the hospital. I can remember holding him in my arms for the first time. What an amazing feeling.
Now that he is 4 1/2 and going to finish up his first day of preschool... OMG what happened. I look back and think where has the time gone. Where is my little boy that would cling to mommy's leg and would not go do anything. You know the kid that you were afraid to drop off at school because you thought that you were going to have to go in with him so that he would stop crying.
This is the little boy that was so cute because he had so much little baby fat on him, and now I look at his picture or at him running around in my back yard and think who is this tall and skinny boy that is sitting there.
I would love to figure out how to stop him from growing, but I am also excited to see what the future holds. I know that every year and new experience is so amazing, that next year is going to be amazing too!
February 3, 2009
I need more water
I have to say with working out and getting things going , everything is going great. I am proud of my self 13 lbs lost so far, which is more than I could have hoped for. The problem is I keep getting migraines... I know why too.
I get the migraine because of the fact that I am so busy that I keep forgetting to drink water. When I remember I start chugging my water, and then I have the problem of it not really doing anything except for sending me to the bathroom.
I am trying to find a way to drink more water during the day, but running after the boys makes everything difficult.
I get the migraine because of the fact that I am so busy that I keep forgetting to drink water. When I remember I start chugging my water, and then I have the problem of it not really doing anything except for sending me to the bathroom.
I am trying to find a way to drink more water during the day, but running after the boys makes everything difficult.
January 6, 2009
The Sickies
I love my children, but I am so sick and tired of the sickies!
My poor 4 year old has a stuffy nose. Nothing bad, just having a hard time breathing. I know it is just a matter of time before it spreads to the 1 year old.
I feel bad because they are both crabby because they don't feel good. I try to be patient, but that is just so difficult, when all day long they are whining.
With my new eating habits and the fact that I am starting to work out I am hoping that it will boost my resistance to these germs.
I think that the phrase of the day is "Tyler go wash your hands" It is now being used more than "Back up from the TV" I am trying everything I can to contain this quickly.
I have been disenfecting the toys an the house a couple of times a day. I am hoping that I can help keep everyone from getting worse, and keep me from getting it since I have surgery in 10 days, and I want to make sure that I am not going to be sick before the surgery.
I am looking for every way to finally take care of the sickies!
My poor 4 year old has a stuffy nose. Nothing bad, just having a hard time breathing. I know it is just a matter of time before it spreads to the 1 year old.
I feel bad because they are both crabby because they don't feel good. I try to be patient, but that is just so difficult, when all day long they are whining.
With my new eating habits and the fact that I am starting to work out I am hoping that it will boost my resistance to these germs.
I think that the phrase of the day is "Tyler go wash your hands" It is now being used more than "Back up from the TV" I am trying everything I can to contain this quickly.
I have been disenfecting the toys an the house a couple of times a day. I am hoping that I can help keep everyone from getting worse, and keep me from getting it since I have surgery in 10 days, and I want to make sure that I am not going to be sick before the surgery.
I am looking for every way to finally take care of the sickies!
January 5, 2009
Waking Up Early
I have decided that getting up before my children so that I can start functioning is a great idea. I love my kids, but somehow when they are up, I never get a warm cup of coffee, LOL. Now I am looking to find a way to get a warm cup of coffee in the morning.
Some how today the boys decided getting up earlier is better, so we are up, but not functioning, LOL. They are good, but have their moments of getting into everything. I know one thing today - they are going to need to take a nap, for mom's sanity.
I have to laugh I have so many friends who's children sleep in. In return they stay up late. My children may get up early, but they go to bed early, 8:00 p.m. which gives me time at night to get somethings done. I don't mind getting up early, so it is nice to know that at night when I want a break they will be in bed and I will get my break.
I also know that this is going to be a blessing once they start school. I will not have to wake up my children, they will already be awake. I will just have to change up the mornings, and start moving instead of waiting before having to feed the boys breakfast.
Anyways, I know that I don't mind my children waking up early, but I would like to get up 15 minutes before them and enjoy my coffee and wake up, because they wake up and are ready to run.
Some how today the boys decided getting up earlier is better, so we are up, but not functioning, LOL. They are good, but have their moments of getting into everything. I know one thing today - they are going to need to take a nap, for mom's sanity.
I have to laugh I have so many friends who's children sleep in. In return they stay up late. My children may get up early, but they go to bed early, 8:00 p.m. which gives me time at night to get somethings done. I don't mind getting up early, so it is nice to know that at night when I want a break they will be in bed and I will get my break.
I also know that this is going to be a blessing once they start school. I will not have to wake up my children, they will already be awake. I will just have to change up the mornings, and start moving instead of waiting before having to feed the boys breakfast.
Anyways, I know that I don't mind my children waking up early, but I would like to get up 15 minutes before them and enjoy my coffee and wake up, because they wake up and are ready to run.
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