June 22, 2009

Knowing When To Let Kids Help

Being a mother is a great feeling, sometimes.  I look at my children and I am amazed.  Like today, my oldest got up and made his bed ( yes he is 4 1/2 and it is not the way I like it but I have to let him do it...and yes it took me saying go make your bed but he did it and that is all that matters).  Then he got himself dressed.  I am so proud of him and being able to do that. 
 
My son's version of making his bed


My little guy helped me clean up the living room so that I could vaccum.  It tripled the time it would have taken me to do it myself, but I let him help.  I have learned while it is so much quicker, and neater to do things myself, allowing my children to have a part in what I am doing is so important.

Seeing the sense of pride and accomplishment when they finish a small task that I ask them to do is such a good feeling.  Now to go along with that - learning how to give up control is a different story.  I have only 24 hours in a day, the same as everyone else and finding the time to do everything is impossible.  Now I can do the cleaning and everything myself, and it would save me time, but what am I teaching my children?

I also have realised that, as the sign that my son gave me from preschool for mother's day said - If my house was any cleaner I would be neglecting my children, and that is true.  I do the essentials, and a little more but my focus is on my children.  I do what I can, and I am proud to say my house is pretty clean for 2 boys.  I know I can do more, but the fact is if I were to do more then I would not have any time to play with my children, or any time for me!

June 13, 2009

Vacation

I remember going on vacation before children.  Packing was easy, just take what you needed.  Travel time was quick.  The trip was relaxing and wonderful.  I loved going on vacations growing up with my family and even as a young adult with my husband.  Sleeping in.  Going to wonderful new places.  Experiencing the sights.  Taking your time and not rushings.  Laying out by the pool.  It was a much needed break.

Now I am a stay at home mother, a job I always wanted and feel truely blessed to have.  I still get the same excitement and feeling when we are going on vacation, until I start getting ready.  Now I have to get not only myself packed, but also 2 other people.  I have to take into consideration accidents, and extra clothes, and other items.  Oh yea don't forget toys, favorite stuffed animals, and blankets that they just can not live without.  I find that I have to plan out everything so I don't forget anything.  Not to mention that I am stressed even before leaving.

Now getting in the car used to be fine, and packing the car was easy.  Now you have to strategicly place different bags throughout the car.  Keep the blankets close and toys to play with.  Don't forget drinks and food so when a little voice from the backseat says that they are hungry or thirsty you can help them with that.  Now that DVD players are a must on any vacation, making sure that the favorite DVD's are packed is very important.  Getting the car settled takes almost as much time as packing the bags. 

Driving takes twice as long because it seems every five minutes you hear a little voice say "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" which means find the next rest stop.  That adds so much time onto your traveling that it is crazy.  Knowing that one easy way to eliminate the problem is to eliminate drinks, but that will then cause another problem, the repeated phrase "Mommy I'm Thirsty."  Adding additional time to your trip makes everything so much more tiring than before.

Then you finally arrive.  Check into your hotel room, and unpack the car, now what?  The first thing you think of is, now it is time to relax.  A much needed break, to sit and read a book or go lay by the pool.  Then you realize that this is not going to happen, you have to be a Mommy first.  You have to watch and entertain your children just as you would at home.  Except for now you are not in a familiar setting and you have to watch every move that much closer than before so that nothing breaks or no one gets hurt.

Time to sit and relax is just not something that will happen.  By the end of the day, when the wonderful bedtime arrives, you see that it is not so wonderful this time.  They don't want to sleep.  Someone is scared because it is new.  It takes twice as long, and you are already late going to bed because, well you are on vacation and strict bedtimes are not as important as at home.  Remember you can relax and have fun, well not so much.

So after looking around and realizing that vacations are no longer, relaxing and calm as they used to be, there is a whole new level of fun and excitement on vacation that was never there before, your children.  They are amazed at just about everything.  When they have fun the laughter and smiles make your heart melt.  The wonderful and amazing words "thank you mommy" makes all of the stress just seem so insignificant.  Somehow you experience everything just a little differently when you take the time to look at it through the eyes of a child. 

Looking at vacations a little differently, makes the difference.  Seeing that vacations are not just for you anymore and seeing that vacations are for your family, makes them so special, and a wonderful feeling!